


Dipper, Dib, and Wirt are Roommates

by nschimm (skullsulker)



Category: Gravity Falls, Invader Zim, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, College, Eventual Smut, M/M, Roommates, Shorts, ZaDr, pinescone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-01-22 16:49:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21305351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skullsulker/pseuds/nschimm
Summary: An au where some of my favorite boys are in college together. Each chapter will have content warnings in the notes beforehand. Enjoy.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), Dipper Pines/Wirt (Over the Garden Wall)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dipper, Dib, and Wirt go out to see Joker (2019) together. One of them is particularly touched by the story.  
sfw, some Foul Language(™)

“Dude,” Dipper murmured. “I think we need to keep an eye on Dib.”

  
Wirt looked up from his phone. “How come? Is he alright?”

  
Dipper sat down next to him on their dorm’s cheap, well-used couch. “I think he’s fine, he just… He’s taking that movie we watched really seriously. Like, he’s in the bathroom right now, and he’s, uh…” Dipper explained the situation.

  
Wirt’s eyes widened slightly at the news. “No he’s not.”

  
Dipper nodded solemnly. After a minute, they both stood up with the intention of talking to him.

  
“Heeeey, buddy,” Wirt said as he poked his head around the bathroom door. He sucked in a quick breath at the sight of Dib leaning over the counter, painting Joker-style clown makeup on his face.

  
“Yeah?” Dib responded, only glancing away from his work for a second before smearing some more white foundation on.

  
Wirt shimmied inside, giving Dipper an intense stare so that he would follow suit.

  
“You, uh, really like that movie huh?” Dipper asked as he tucked himself slightly behind Wirt’s taller frame.

  
“Yeah, man, it was so good. Joaquin Phoenix is the shit. He captured the character really well.”

  
The other two laughed nervously, agreeing in unison.

  
Wirt inhaled through his nose, mustering up a bit of courage as he began to speak. “So, uh, here’s the thing.” Dib looked at his reflection with an innocent, unassuming expression. “Well,” Wirt continued, “It’s just that - um - Dipper, tell him.”

  
Dipper grumbled, but stepped out of Wirt’s shadow to deliver the news. “It’s not super bad, but like, are you… planning on wearing this,” he gestured towards Dib’s makeup, “out? In public?”

  
Dib shrugged. “I dunno. Why?”

  
The other two inhaled through their teeth. “Well,” Wirt said, trying not to stumble over his words. “It’s just- I mean, we know you’re a cool guy and like, it’s not that we think you’d do anything, necessarily-”

  
“But,” Dipper said, picking up on Wirt’s train of thought, “other people might, y’know, get… nervous? Around you?”

  
Dib looked slightly crestfallen. “Really? You think so?”

  
They nodded, a bit too enthusiastically.

  
“I mean- if you wanna wear that around the dorm, you might give Wirt a heart attack but we certainly wouldn’t judge you for it.” Wirt elbowed Dipper in the chest. “But like, the Joker makeup and the trenchcoat together might be a little bit concerning to other people.”

  
“Oh,” Dib said, looking at the sink for a moment. “Is it a lot?”

  
“I mean, you do you,” Wirt said, trying to prevent his friend’s feelings from being too hurt, “But you should probably know that you might scare some folks. Again, wear it around the dorm as much as you want! Just, like, be careful when you’re out and about.”

  
Dib hummed thoughtfully, picking at his chipped black nail polish without thinking too much of anything.

  
“Alright,” he said, finally looking up. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  
The other two sighed in relief. Wirt said, “No hard feelings? We aren’t trying to make you ashamed of enjoying something. Like, I definitely got really invested in some stuff that might’ve made other people look at me weird. I guess I’m - we’re - just trying to help you out.”

  
Dib smiled halfheartedly. “Nah, I get it. What was it that you were crazy about?”

  
Wirt tensed, immediately regretting bringing it up. “Oh- it’s not- we don’t have to worry about that-”

  
“Spill it!” Dipper chimed in.

  
Wirt grimaced, staring up at the ceiling, very much wishing that he could disappear.

  
“Homestuck.”

  
Dib and Dipper’s howling laughter echoed down the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib is going to have to put a work order in with campus maintenance because his window mysteriously shattered. Wirt and Dipper are trying to figure out what the fuck is going on in his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sfw, some language, some blood, a lot of screaming, potential zadr/f and pinescone

[TEXT MESSAGE HISTORY]

2:37am

Dipper: did you hear that?!

Wirt: Yeah, what do you think it was?

Dipper: sounded like glass breaking. mirror, maybe??

Wirt: I don’t know. I’ll knock on his door to check.

Dipper: lmk how it goes

Wirt rapped on Dib’s closed door, bouncing his leg anxiously. The unmistakable sound of furniture being thrown around suddenly stopped, as well as the (impressively) loud voices.

Dib opened his door a crack, hair disheveled. “What’s up?”

“Are you okay in there?” Wirt blurted out. “What the fuck is going on?”

Dib blinked rapidly. “Uh, practicing… dancing. Mosh dancing. Hardcore shit. You wouldn’t get it.”

Wirt nodded slowly, eyes still wide. “Okay, well, it’s two-thirty in the morning.” 

“Yeah?”

“That’s… usually when people sleep. People like me and Dipper.”

“Right,” Dib said, clearing his throat. “Sorry. I’ll… mosh quietly.”

Wirt let out a little snort-laugh. “Okay. Have fun. Be careful. What was that shattering noise?”

Dib swallowed dryly. “My bedroom window.”

“_ DUDE.” _

“I know, it was an… accident.” Dib kicked something that let out a strange noise. “I’ll put in a work order tomorrow. It’ll be fine.”

Wirt stared at him in disbelief. “Jesus. If you say so. I’m gonna go to sleep now.”

“Alright. Good night.”

Dib closed the door and immediately tackled Zim, punching him in the face several times before being pinned down by his PAK’s legs.

“Ugly stink-beast!” Zim yelled, way too loud. “You think you could fool me with your “_ college _”?! A stupid ploy to try and best me, but I saw through it!”

Dib struggled against the metal, eventually kicking Zim in the abdomen.

“No, you idiot! I’m just trying to do something with my life!” he whisper-yelled. “And keep it down! My roommates - my _ friends _ \- are trying to sleep! You fucking weirdo!”

Zim crouched off to the side, wrapping his arms around his torso defensively. “You _ lie _!”

Dib charged him, plastering a hand over Zim’s mouth. “Shut _ up _! I’m too old to keep doing this shit! I thought we moved past this!”

Zim bit at Dib’s hand, hitting one of the open cuts caused by the shattered glass. Dib let out a pained noise and retreated.

“We _ did _ !” Zim said, slightly quieter this time. “I thought we were fine for a while, until you thought you could _ leave me _!”

Dib stared at him, panting and nursing his wounded hand. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Zim screwed up his face, grinding his teeth together. “Forget it. Curse you, Dib-shit.”

Dib laughed despite himself. “God, whatever. Curse you, too, stupid.”

[TEXT MESSAGE HISTORY]

2:50am

Wirt: He said he was “dancing” and accidentally broke his window.

Dipper: lmao what?? the fuck????

Wirt: I know. Super weird. I swear to God I can hear someone else in there.

Dipper: oof. my room is further away if you wanna grab your shit and spend the night in here

Wirt: I think I’ll have to take you up on that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic, I really appreciate it. If you want to support me, my ko-fi is http://ko-fi.com/nschimm. If you give me a donation, I’ll take a request for a fanfic you’d like to see me write! Again, thank you very much.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fic in which Dib is incredibly relatable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sfw, some language

Dib sprinted down the hall to his dorm room, cell phone in hand. He banged on the door. No time to get his key card out. This was an  _ emergency _ .

Dipper opened the door, allowing Dib to burst in.

“ _ My Chemical Romance is getting back together! _ ” he shouted at top volume.

Before Dipper could ask who they were, Wirt looked up from their kitchen table in disbelief. “Shut up. Don’t fuck with me.”

“I’m not! It’s trending on twitter! I think I’m gonna pass out. Maybe piss myself. I can’t tell which.”

“Who is-” Dipper started to ask before immediately being cut off.

“The  _ greatest _ emo band of all time!” Wirt said, throwing his hands up to further exaggerate his point.

“I would argue,” Dib said, “the best band, period. Emo or otherwise.”

“Incredibly good point.” Wirt agreed.

“Oh.” Dipper said, letting the door click shut. “I think my sister might’ve had posters of them on her wall when she was going through her goth phase. They’re the guys that had the marching band shtick, right?”

Dib and Wirt nodded.

“And  _ way  _ more!” Dib added. “I have so much to show you.”

“I only really listened to that album.” Wirt confessed. “A few of their other songs, but The Black Parade was the only one I had on my mp3 player.”

“Wow, fake fan.” Dib teased.

“Hey, whatever. So are they going on tour, or..?”

Dib pulled up twitter on his phone again, glancing over a few posts. “Hmm. Looks like they’re having… One show.  _ One _ ? That can’t be right.”

Wirt furrowed his brows. “One single reunion show? That’s annoying. You  _ know _ those tickets are gonna sell out the second they’re live.”

Dib puffed his chest up in determination. “I’m gonna get some. Dipper, you wanna come?”

Dipper looked back and forth between the two of them. “I mean, not if the tickets are expensive or anything-”

“Ha!” Dib said, eyes widening at the screen. “A hundred and fifty each. I’m gonna use my dad’s credit card he gave me for emergencies. This is an emergency.”

Before either of them could say anything about that, Dib darted into his room and locked himself away, presumably to find which site to purchase the tickets on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic, I really appreciate it. If you want to support me, my ko-fi is http://ko-fi.com/nschimm. If you give me a donation, I’ll take a request for a fanfic you’d like to see me write! Again, thank you very much.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys spend a weekend watching the Lord of the Rings series. It’s funny because Elijah Wood plays Frodo and Wirt. In the words of Jeb Bush, “Please clap.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sfw, stupid

Twenty-two minutes into The Fellowship of the Ring, Dipper said, “Dude, Wirt, you sound exactly like Frodo.”

Dib gasped. “He totally does! I knew something was weird, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.”

Wirt scoffed. “I do not!”

A few minutes of bickering passed before Dib said, “Okay, okay, hang on, I need you to say this line right after Frodo does.” Another minute or so passed. “Okay- right…  _ here _ .”

Frodo said the line. Wirt sighed.

“Alright then, keep your secrets,” he mimicked. 

“Oh my  _ god _ !” Dipper exclaimed.

Wirt flicked pieces of popcorn at both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic, I really appreciate it. If you want to support me, my ko-fi is http://ko-fi.com/nschimm. If you give me a donation, I’ll take a request for a fanfic you’d like to see me write! Again, thank you very much.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The green idiot is visiting Dib again, this time with something he has to get off his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a tiny bit nsfw, zadr, some emotions, pinescone tease

[TEXT MESSAGE HISTORY]

3:52am

Zim: hey

Zim: hey

Zim: hey. Do not ignore me, filth

Zim: wake up

Zim: HEY

Zim: I DEMAND ENTRANCE TO YOUR “DORM”

Zim: i am outside

Dib: jesus fucking christ. give me a second

“Thanks for not breaking my window this time,” Dib whispered as he opened the front door. “My roommates are asleep again, so you have to be quiet.”

“Humans, wasting so much time  _ asleep _ .” Zim mumbled. “Take me to your room.”

Dib wanted to protest Zim’s snarky demand, but he could tell by the way he kept flexing his fingers and glancing all around them that he was antsy. Something was eating at him.

Once behind Dib’s closed door, Zim sat himself down on the bed, staring at the worn carpet. Dib stood across from him, resting his hip against his wooden desk.

“You haven’t tried to foil any of my plans.” Zim said.

Dib smiled on the edges of his mouth. “Well, I’ve been busy over here. You miss me, space boy?”

He made a disgusted noise. “Miss? You?”

“Well, it just sounds like-”

“Miss?  _ You _ ?”

Dib sighed, standing in silence, waiting for Zim to continue. Zim cleared his throat.

“Well,” Zim said. “I miss having an adequate rival, and as much as I hate your stinking, stupid face, you were the only human even remotely worthy of my time.”

“Thanks,” Dib said after a brief pause. “Is that all? Did you come over just to tell me that?”

Zim clenched his fists. “No, stupid. I also…  _ enjoy _ how tall you’ve become.”

Dib blinked rapidly. His pubescent growth spurt left him at 6’0”. He never thought much of it, but the way Zim’s cheeks were flushing a darker shade of green made him wonder if he thought the extra inches were particularly attractive.

Dib sat down next to him on the bed, trying his best to be non judgemental. He certainly couldn’t say anything - he used to have pictures of Zim pinned up in his closet, for Christ’s sake. 

The silence was suffocating. Just as Dib was about to speak, Zim interrupted him.

“The mighty Irken race doesn’t need to reproduce manually, so there are very few romantic relationships formed. However, as part of our training, we are taught the traditional ways of our ancestors to instill us with a sense of pride. One of the many things encoded in our education programs is our courting rituals. They’ll begin tomorrow night, once your roommates are asleep.”

“Wha- huh? What do you mean?” Dib stammered. 

Zim stood, brushing the wrinkles out of his tunic. “Traditional Irken courting rituals, Pig-stink.”

Dib scoffed, slightly offended. “Who said I wanted to do anything like  _ that _ with  _ you _ ?”

Zim pulled a small device out of his glove. He clicked a button, causing it to expand into something like a television screen. On that screen, once Zim clicked a few more buttons, was footage of Dib doing unsavory things with a picture of a certain green someone visible on his phone.

Dib reeled back in shock. “What the  _ fuck _ ?!”

“Tomorrow.” Zim said, shutting down the device. “Wear something you can move around in.”

“W- you can’t just--” Dib cut himself off by grabbing Zim by the shoulders and lifting him up so that they were eye level. Zim’s PAK legs started to extend out of self defense, but Dib made no move to hurt him further, so they remained still. They stared at each other for a long while, thoughts flying through Dib’s mind as he tried to figure out what he wanted to do.

He felt violated. That was the first, most noticeable emotion. He tightened his grip on Zim’s shoulders, teeth grinding together.

“You can’t do that, Zim. I don’t know how you aliens view stuff like  _ that _ , but here? That’s beyond upsetting. It’s invasive - more than any other thing you’ve recorded me doing.”

Zim snorted. “How? It’s just like sneezing or yawning, is it not?”

“Fuckin’- is  _ jerking off _ the same as sneezing and yawning?”

“Yes?”

“ _ No _ !” Dib said, shaking Zim by his shoulders. “That’s- I can’t believe you--” he cut himself off with a deep breath, dropping Zim to the floor. “I don’t care. I don’t. Get out. You went way too far. Delete that shit.”

Zim blinked rapidly. “I’ve done the same thing with you, you know.”

It was like a sucker punch to Dib’s stomach, those words.

“I don’t- what? Why?”

Zim shrugged, unashamed. “I already told you, I like that you’re tall. It’s part of the courting ritual - that’s how I knew you’d accept. You’re the one that started it.”

Dib’s face was beet red. He kept opening and closing his mouth, trying to find the right words but failing miserably.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” Zim said again. As he was about to exit the room, he turned to say, “Oh, the other humans you live with have been courting each other for a while now. In case you were wondering.”

Dib rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. “I wasn’t. Please leave.”

Zim shrugged and walked out the door. Dib didn’t sleep a wink for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic, I really appreciate it. If you want to support me, my ko-fi is http://ko-fi.com/nschimm. If you give me a donation, I’ll take a request for a fanfic you’d like to see me write! Again, thank you very much.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Membrane and Gaz are visiting Dib, deciding to treat him to dinner while they’re in town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sfw, dumb

“So!” Professor Membrane said, picking up his chopsticks. “How have you been adjusting to school? Are your classes rigorous? Are your roommates pleasant?”

Gaz glanced up from her food for a second. “Yeah, you said you guys were getting along really well. Have they realized how big of a dork you are yet?”

Dib chewed his mongolian beef, considering the questions. “Well,” he said before swallowing his bite, “School has been fine so far. The classes are still just getting started, so they haven’t been difficult yet. And, uh, my roommates are a couple of gay nerds.” He finished his statement by stabbing another piece of beef with his plastic fork, shoving it into his mouth contentedly. 

Membrane’s brows furrowed. He chewed in thought, trying to figure out how to phrase his next sentence.

“Son,” he finally said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “I thought I raised you better than that.”

Dib shot him a questioning look. “Hmm?” he asked around his food.

“Homophobia is no joke. That’s not a very nice way to talk about your friends-”

“Oh!” Dib said after swallowing. “No, I mean, I’m pretty sure they’re  _ actually _ gay. And we’re  _ all  _ nerds, like Gaz was saying. I’m not using it as an insult. They’re dating, I think.”

Gaz started laughing, then Dib, then their father. 

“My mistake,” Membrane said. “I thought you were trying berate them.”

“No, no,” Dib said. “They’re great guys. Definitely gay nerds, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic, I really appreciate it. If you want to support me, my ko-fi is http://ko-fi.com/nschimm. If you give me a donation, I’ll take a request for a fanfic you’d like to see me write! Again, thank you very much.


End file.
